John R. Fishbein, Ph.D.

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Table of Contents

• Introduction
  
• Central Principles Introduction
  
  • Principle 1: Understanding your feelings
    • Success Story
  • Principle 2: Managing your thoughts
    • Success Story
  • Principle 3: Distinguishing your feelings from the facts:
    • Success Story
  • Principle 4: Distinguishing what you can control from what you cannot control
    • Success Story
  • Principle 5: Recognize your inherent worth
    • Success Story
  • Principle 6: Build a firm foundation for your personal security
    • Success Story
  • Principle 7: Set your minimum standards
    • Success Story
  • Principle 8: Care for your physical health
    • Success Story

   

• Communication
  • Barriers to overcoming communication difficulties
    • Barrier 1: Unclear rules for communication
    • Barrier 2: Difficulty distinguishing thoughts and feelings from facts:
    • Barrier 3: Difficulty distinguishing between what you can and cannot control
    • Barrier 4: Difficutly focusing attention on your companion
    • Barrier 5: Trying to get your companion to communicate better
    • Barrier 6: Making excuses for your companion
    • Barrier 7: Blaming yourself for his excessive criticism
    • Barrier 8: Basing your security or happiness on your companion
    • Barrier 9 Not knowing how to proceed with a companion who will not cooperate
  • Success Story
  • Summary
    

   

• Depression
  • Barriers to overcoming depression
    • Barrier 1: Self-defeating goals
    • Barrier 2: Depressed about feeling depressed
    • Barrier 3: Difficulty distinguishing thoughts and feelings from facts
    • Barrier 4: Exaggerated thinking
    • Barrier 5: Believing life should be fair
    • Barrier 6: Difficulty distinguishing between what you can and cannot control
    • Barrier 7: Asking questionable questions
    • Barrier 8: Questionable nutritional, sleep, and exercise habits
    • Barrier 9: Shaky self-esteem
    • Barrier 10: Trying too hard to help others
  • Success Story
  • Summary
    

   

• Unsatisfactory Intimacy
  • Barriers to resolving unsatisfactory intimacy
    • Barrier 1: Lack of real or perceived commitment
    • Barrier 2: Trying to control emotion
    • Barrier 3: Fear of failure
    • Barrier 4: Attaching undue meaning to sexual activity or performance
    • Barrier 5: Missing ingredient(s) in the relationship
    • Barrier 6: Basing your security or happiness on your spouse
    • Barrier 7: Too busy, too tired, or just not interested in physical intimacy7:
  • Success Story
  • Summary
    

   

• Anxiety Attacks
  • Barriers to overcoming anxiety attacks
    • Barrier 1: Self-defeating goals
    • Barrier 2: Fighting to control anxiety
    • Barrier 3: Difficulty distinguishing feelings from facts
    • Barrier 4: Basing personal security on feeling calm
    • Barrier 5: Vivid imagination
    • Barrier 6: Feeling unsure how to prevent or respond to an anxiety attack
    • Barrier 7: Trying too hard to help others
  • Success Story
  • Summary
    
    
• How to Select a Therapist