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Barrier 2

Fighting to Control Anxiety

COMMON INDICATORS

Thoughts:

"I've got to get myself under control."

"I must make myself relax or else . . ."

Feelings:

Anxious or frightened about not being able to control feelings; loss of confidence.

Actions:

Running from a situation or reaching out to be rescued, or both.

GENERAL INFORMATION

Sometimes when you are extremely anxious, you may find yourself making a common mistake--attempting to futilely control, fight, or eliminate the stream of emotion. As a result a dam is created that blocks the natural flow of emotion, thereby causing unpleasant feelings of anxiety to grow in magnitude and intensity. Rather than simply acknowledging the unpleasant feelings of anxiety--and finding a way to better manage yourself or your circumstances--you end up with compounded or dammed feelings. Now you have two problems: the original anxiety and dammed anxiety.

Example: Occasionally Boyd felt a tightness in his chest. Although several visits to the doctor failed to find any medical problems, he began to worry that the tightness might lead to not being able to breathe. He decided to fight the tight feeling himself by breathing more rapidly. Without realizing it, his attempt to control anxiety symptoms by over breathing caused a second problem--the lowering of carbon dioxide in the blood and subsequent feelings of numbness, tingling of the hands, and dizziness. The harder he tried to breathe, the worse he felt. This vicious cycle is often referred to as hyperventilation.

Rather than fight the symptoms, I suggested he apply the common cure for hyperventilation: place a paperbag over your head and face, loosely covering your nose and mouth; breathe normally for five to fifteen minutes; take a small breath approximately once every five seconds; and breathe through your diaphragm instead of your chest. Your stomach will move in and out instead of your rib cage. Boyd did this and with more carbon dioxide in his body--and no more fighting of the initial feelings by over-breathing--he gradually began to feel better.

Rather than fighting to control anxiety--which generally causes more anxiety--it is much better, at first, to learn to control the way you respond to the emotional symptoms. As a result, there are no more anxiety attacks.

Fortunately, the common symptoms of an anxiety attack (rapid heart beat, rapid breathing, numbness, dizziness, and difficulty breathing), naturally tend to subside when left alone to run their course. Although little can be done to immediately make the storm go away, fighting the feelings only serves to prolong and intensify them.

STEPS TO REMOVING THE BARRIER 

1. Think of a time you felt nervous when, instead of trying to control the feelings, you focused your attention on controlling something else.

   Example: Most people accept feeling nervous before an athletic or musical performance as normal and try to weather, rather than fight, the discomfort as best they can. As soon as the performance begins, they focus on what they are doing as opposed to how they are feeling, and the nervousness naturally subsides and disappears.

2. Remind yourself of the body's natural, God-given ability to heal and calm itself down as long as there is no artificial interference. Think of times you trusted your body to successfully take care of itself with little or no help.

   Examples: 

   • When you had a cold or virus, you knew it was just a matter of time before you would be feeling better again. Reason: You trusted your immune system to do its job, even though you may not have fully understood how it worked.
   • After a vigorous physical workout, you were confident your rapid heart rate, perspiration, and fatigue would subside in a reasonable amount of time. Reason: You had faith in your body's natural ability to calm down.
3. After eating, you knew the food would be digested and properly used by the body without any effort on your part. Reason: Again, simple faith in your body.
4. Every day, notice at least three times when your body naturally and automatically corrects itself. As you do this you will begin to regain some of the faith and confidence you lost in your body's ability to survive.
5. Think of times you felt extremely anxious. Remember what happened when you tried to make yourself feel calm. A good example of this is trying to get sweaty palms dry before an important meeting--the harder you tried, the worse it got.
6. Think of a time you experienced something similar to an anxiety attack but responded by just reassuring yourself and letting it run its course.

   Example: Recently I was jolted out of my sleep by an earthquake and thought the house was going to collapse and that I would die. I was scared to death. Shaking uncontrollably I could hear my heart pounding. It took about an hour before my body relaxed enough to go back to sleep. Not until the second or third day did I feel completely normal.

7. Think of an anxiety attack as an automobile engine overheating. As the steam is pouring out, you control your response by waiting for the engine to cool off before attempting to do anything. Even after the steam subsides, it takes additional time before the engine is cool enough to work on. If you tried to control the steam or make the engine cool off prematurely by throwing cold water on it, you could burn yourself or damage the engine.
8. Instead of fighting your emotional steam, decide to observe the intensity with interest and a rational realization that it will eventually subside. Rather than trying to control how much steam comes out of your emotional engine, control the reassuring thoughts you run through your mind.
9.  

   Repeat to yourself: "I will allow my body to blow off steam and cool off. Then I will take preventive or corrective action."

10. While waiting for the anxiety symptoms to subside, do something simple and meaningful despite the intense feelings--lie down and let the emotional earthquake run its course, take a walk, listen to some music, vacuum the living room, or read a book.

    Key Point: If you do any of these with the intent to force the wave of internal motion to subside, you will unwittingly cause it to escalate.

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Next barrier: Difficulty Distinguishing Feelings From Facts
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Anxiety Chapter Overview

Copyright @ John R. Fishbein, Ph.D. 2000 All Rights Reserved